In these uncertain times, when family assets are devalued, yet the cost of education has not followed suite, it may be that we have to reorder our priorities and ask more of our college-bound children. It should also be apparent that spending four or five years to receive a degree in some soft major will not hold the graduate in good stead when looking for that first job.  Practicality is the current watch word.        

Our founding fathers eloquently stated in the Declaration of Independence, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” 

That one sentence displays such keen wisdom, yet most overlook its subtle intent.  The statement so precise, it’s very interesting to note that the authors framed our last right to be the pursuit of happiness, not happiness itself.  As the well-known adage states, “no one promised you a rose a garden,” yet today we, as a culture, have come to expect happiness.  Simply the right to pursue our dreams is no longer adequate.  We must have our dreams, our happiness, served up on a silver platter.  Anything less and we feel slighted, or at least unfulfilled.  As well, we’ve past this attitude on to the younger generations.  Somewhere along the line we decided as a society that we are owed happiness, whatever size shape or color we believe it to be.           

After many years of providing college and financial aid planning services for families and students, certain trends have become evident and troublesome.  The majority of parents believe that they owe their children a college education and their children aren’t about argue the contrary.  Without blinking an eye, parents are prepared to give up their life savings to serve up a college education on a silver platter.  Whether or not their child is prepared to effectively attend an institution of higher learning has no bearing on their rush

to sacrifice their retirement.  Suggested options of attending a community college, pursuing technical training, or even working for a year or two before going on to college are treated as heresy. 

The fact of the matter is, in many cases, both parents and students would be better served to look at the alternatives.  How many unhappy freshman have returned home to seek another school or decide a different path.  Had options been entertained initially, how much time, energy and money might have been saved?  The emotionality that surrounds the college selection process cripples most families.  Whether it’s due to the unrealistic expectations of the parents or the less than practical desires of the student, poor decisions are made.  In our blind haste to serve up happiness, we end up dropping the plate. 

It has been said that the sportsman finds exhilaration in the hunt.  The kill is ante climatic.  So it is with happiness.  It is the pursuit of it that brings joy, the attainment is often times disappointing, at a minimum fleeting.  Do not deprive your child of the pursuit.  Ownership in the process makes the result that much sweeter. 

That being said, you should consider the student taking on some or a majority of the financial responsibility for their own education.  That responsibility doesn’t necessarily need to be cold hard cash, but a financial commitment on the part of the student.  If the student can’t excel academically or participate in extracurricular pursuits, which may result in scholarship assistance, then they need to step up and be willing to compromise on the college or university they attend or the path they take to get there.  A focused commitment to the application process with all its administrative requirements can have positive financial results. Taking on the responsibility for educational loans, holding down a part-time job, or even living at home and attending a local college for a year or two are other ways students can help financially, yet achieve their educational goals.